Since Berkeley has a stereotype as a town full of weirdos and hippies, it acquired the alternate name "Berzerkeley". Here are some examples of the Berzerkeley attitude:
1) A t-shirt for sale on Telegraph Avenue:
2) A sign at the border between Berkeley and Oakland (along Shattuck Avenue):
There are similar Nuclear-Free Zone signs at every road that crosses into Berkeley.
What does Nuclear-Free Zone mean? In 1986, the Berkeley city government passed the “Nuclear Free Berkeley Act” (the full law can be found here), stating Berkeley's opposition to anything involving nuclear weapons. It's all about keeping kids safe: the introduction to the Nuclear Free Berkeley Act says that “children are especially frightened, depressed and disturbed by having to face the threat of extinction each day.” Really? I doubt this was true in 1986, during the cold war, and it's certainly not true today. Nuclear weapons haven't gone away, but when I walk past a children's playground every day on my walk to campus I see kids playing happily on swing sets. They are not stone-faced and depressed about being vaporized by a weapon they've never heard of. If anything, they are especially ignorant about the threat of extinction each day because, well, they're just kids.
The Nuclear Free Berkeley Act does not allow nuclear weapons to be transported through the city and it says that Berkeley “shall grant no contract to any person or business which knowingly engages in work for nuclear weapons, unless the city council makes a specific determination that no reasonable alternative exists...” That means the city can't do business with a company involved with nuclear weapons even for a contract completely unrelated to nuclear weapons, except if the city council finds no reasonable alternative.
Example: The Berkeley public library installed a self-checkout scanning system for its books in 2004. The machines needed to be serviced in 2009. By that time the original company that installed the system had sold it to 3M, which refused to sign a document stating it had no involvement with nuclear weapons research. If 3M was not granted a waiver then the library might not have been able to let books be checked out if the checkout machines broke. So what happened? The city council granted 3M a waiver from the Nuclear Free Berkeley Act for two years.
You might be wondering how 3M is involved with nuclear weapons. This company, which introduced Scotch tape, has several contracts with the US Army and Navy, which are pretty well-known for their stockpiles of nuclear weapons. And while 3M may not directly make nuclear weapons, they sell nuclear duct tape. I am not making this up! You can buy it on Amazon, where the product description says this special tape is "especially ideal for applications in the shipbuilding, nuclear power plant and stainless steel industries." All the Amazon reviews are jokes, so perhaps at some point they will be removed from the Amazon website. Therefore I'll cut and paste a few of them here for posterity:
Amazon Review 1: When we found cracks in the containment structure, we used to have to shut the whole plant down; then there was a lot of hassle with the nuclear regulatory agency about structural integrity and environmental contamination. With this quality duct tape, that's all in the past. Now, when we see a cracked or crumbling wall, we just bring out the tape. The slate blue blends right in. I do recommend that you use use double layers for openings near the reactor core.
Amazon Review 2: As a nuclear safety inspector, I use this duct tape all the time to seal up cracks and holes, tape up pipes and beams, etc. Come visit me down in sector 7G and I'll show you my handiwork.
- Homer S.
Amazon Review 3: As I do most Sundays, I was working in the backyard on the grill. Because the dude next door is an Al Qaeda operative and he doesn't lock his shed, I figured, hey, what the hell, let's beef up the grill with some bomb grade plutonium. Because I didn't have anything handy to hold it in place, I stuck it down with this 3M nuclear duct tape. After all, I don't want my burgers exposed directly to radiation!
That seemed like a good idea at the time, but when I threw a steak on the grill, not only was the steak cooked way too quickly, but the gamma rays jumped right through the tape and caused the steak to start glowing. It also tasted funny, so I can't say I recommend this product at all!
Amazon Review 4: After receiving the box of Nuclear tape from Amazon I quickly strategized how I would tape the whole house. Yes, you read that right. The entire house! It was not easy and I would not suggest everyone to do this unless you have a lot of time like me. It helps when you "pretend" to be injured and are on worker's compensation. But in any case it was an arduous process since my house is over 4000 sq. feet. It took me at least 3 days to finish the job and I must say I'm very happy with the results. My house instead of having sidings now is a solid light blue color. I don't need to clean the windows any more since there are no more windows thanks to this magnificent tape. Now some people may ask how do I know for sure I have everything covered? Well, I set off a small nuclear warhead in the vicinity of the house and the radiation detected in the house was negligeble. This super strong tape also helped with withstanding the power of the explosion. I can't say the same thing for the outside where there was once a neighborhood.
OK, let's get back to Berzerkeley.
3) Strange sidewalk carvings. Here someone wrote in wet cement "Gadafy for president" (click on the photo for a better view):
Another sidewalk carving near the previous one: "Rebecca Fein is terminally criminally insane! Like Faust was!"
These are located on the sidewalk outside of Andronico's on Shattuck if you want to find these in person.
4) Here are some screenshots from the beginning of an online survey that everyone at Berkeley was asked to take concerning a new student center that is going to be built. Click on each image in order. The first two are innocuous, while there is something unexpected in the last one.
1) A t-shirt for sale on Telegraph Avenue:
2) A sign at the border between Berkeley and Oakland (along Shattuck Avenue):
There are similar Nuclear-Free Zone signs at every road that crosses into Berkeley.
What does Nuclear-Free Zone mean? In 1986, the Berkeley city government passed the “Nuclear Free Berkeley Act” (the full law can be found here), stating Berkeley's opposition to anything involving nuclear weapons. It's all about keeping kids safe: the introduction to the Nuclear Free Berkeley Act says that “children are especially frightened, depressed and disturbed by having to face the threat of extinction each day.” Really? I doubt this was true in 1986, during the cold war, and it's certainly not true today. Nuclear weapons haven't gone away, but when I walk past a children's playground every day on my walk to campus I see kids playing happily on swing sets. They are not stone-faced and depressed about being vaporized by a weapon they've never heard of. If anything, they are especially ignorant about the threat of extinction each day because, well, they're just kids.
The Nuclear Free Berkeley Act does not allow nuclear weapons to be transported through the city and it says that Berkeley “shall grant no contract to any person or business which knowingly engages in work for nuclear weapons, unless the city council makes a specific determination that no reasonable alternative exists...” That means the city can't do business with a company involved with nuclear weapons even for a contract completely unrelated to nuclear weapons, except if the city council finds no reasonable alternative.
Example: The Berkeley public library installed a self-checkout scanning system for its books in 2004. The machines needed to be serviced in 2009. By that time the original company that installed the system had sold it to 3M, which refused to sign a document stating it had no involvement with nuclear weapons research. If 3M was not granted a waiver then the library might not have been able to let books be checked out if the checkout machines broke. So what happened? The city council granted 3M a waiver from the Nuclear Free Berkeley Act for two years.
You might be wondering how 3M is involved with nuclear weapons. This company, which introduced Scotch tape, has several contracts with the US Army and Navy, which are pretty well-known for their stockpiles of nuclear weapons. And while 3M may not directly make nuclear weapons, they sell nuclear duct tape. I am not making this up! You can buy it on Amazon, where the product description says this special tape is "especially ideal for applications in the shipbuilding, nuclear power plant and stainless steel industries." All the Amazon reviews are jokes, so perhaps at some point they will be removed from the Amazon website. Therefore I'll cut and paste a few of them here for posterity:
Amazon Review 1: When we found cracks in the containment structure, we used to have to shut the whole plant down; then there was a lot of hassle with the nuclear regulatory agency about structural integrity and environmental contamination. With this quality duct tape, that's all in the past. Now, when we see a cracked or crumbling wall, we just bring out the tape. The slate blue blends right in. I do recommend that you use use double layers for openings near the reactor core.
Amazon Review 2: As a nuclear safety inspector, I use this duct tape all the time to seal up cracks and holes, tape up pipes and beams, etc. Come visit me down in sector 7G and I'll show you my handiwork.
- Homer S.
Amazon Review 3: As I do most Sundays, I was working in the backyard on the grill. Because the dude next door is an Al Qaeda operative and he doesn't lock his shed, I figured, hey, what the hell, let's beef up the grill with some bomb grade plutonium. Because I didn't have anything handy to hold it in place, I stuck it down with this 3M nuclear duct tape. After all, I don't want my burgers exposed directly to radiation!
That seemed like a good idea at the time, but when I threw a steak on the grill, not only was the steak cooked way too quickly, but the gamma rays jumped right through the tape and caused the steak to start glowing. It also tasted funny, so I can't say I recommend this product at all!
Amazon Review 4: After receiving the box of Nuclear tape from Amazon I quickly strategized how I would tape the whole house. Yes, you read that right. The entire house! It was not easy and I would not suggest everyone to do this unless you have a lot of time like me. It helps when you "pretend" to be injured and are on worker's compensation. But in any case it was an arduous process since my house is over 4000 sq. feet. It took me at least 3 days to finish the job and I must say I'm very happy with the results. My house instead of having sidings now is a solid light blue color. I don't need to clean the windows any more since there are no more windows thanks to this magnificent tape. Now some people may ask how do I know for sure I have everything covered? Well, I set off a small nuclear warhead in the vicinity of the house and the radiation detected in the house was negligeble. This super strong tape also helped with withstanding the power of the explosion. I can't say the same thing for the outside where there was once a neighborhood.
OK, let's get back to Berzerkeley.
3) Strange sidewalk carvings. Here someone wrote in wet cement "Gadafy for president" (click on the photo for a better view):
Another sidewalk carving near the previous one: "Rebecca Fein is terminally criminally insane! Like Faust was!"
These are located on the sidewalk outside of Andronico's on Shattuck if you want to find these in person.
4) Here are some screenshots from the beginning of an online survey that everyone at Berkeley was asked to take concerning a new student center that is going to be built. Click on each image in order. The first two are innocuous, while there is something unexpected in the last one.
No comments:
Post a Comment